of plows and seeds and brokenness

The pond water runs green and soft. Bull frogs sing refrains that blend with the crickets’ symphony and echo across the flat land.

The plow dug furrows this week. Deep, dark, black earth turned skyward. Sod busted and green left to turn brown. Roots tore and dragged, beaten and broken.

In the upturned dirt, tiny pieces of corn will be planted. Sun will shine. Rain will fall. Seeds break open, all that is dead will fall away and life will triumph, again.

It’s so hard when the plow hits the soil of our hearts.

When a piece of life is used to work the ground of our souls—tearing, dragging, exposing our darkness, leaving us for dead—its easy to get caught up in the pain part. It’s easy to fail to see the future glory.

Here’s a farmers truth: seeds planted on unplowed ground will never produce a harvest.

They will lay forever dead, choked out by weeds and lack of depth.

Tear apart the ground?

Break it?

Let everything die away?

Then plant?

Harvest is coming. A little sun, a little rain and life will triumph, again.

I don’t know your death.

I don’t know your plow.

I don’t know your seeds.

But I do know my God.

In my life He tore apart my dirt with the plow of infertility. All my roots were ripped to bits. The things I thought I needed to survive were broken and left for dead.

But I pray, Oh, how I pray, that the seeds He planted, grace, empathy, beauty, redemption, hope, JOY—

Will multiply and overflow and feed nations.

What about you? What is your prayer for the pain in your life? 

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12 thoughts on “of plows and seeds and brokenness

  1. I have to say that I’ve gotten more focused in my reading and what I’ll give my attention to because time is not only precious right now but because there are so many “pretenders” out there who speak deeply about shallow experiences. HOWEVER, in you I find a kinship and I really hear your voice. Perhaps it’s because in it there is a familiar tone; our Father’s voice calling out through your honest pain, joy, peace, patience….the fruit of true, sacrificial living. Thank you Sister–wherever you are today. You have a friend and a sister here in Waynesboro, GA. I’d love to know you better.

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    • Oh…I forgot to answer your question.

      The prayer for the pain in my life is that it would remain just fresh enough to flavor my life with His presence and goodness and, most of all–his HOLINESS. I never want to forget–or to waste–the moment I saw myself, trembling before His holiness and all I could cry out was “Woe”. I recognized myself in Isaiah’s echo and knew I was one of unclean lips/heart and living amongst a people who are also unclean. But God…rich in mercy…reached down and touched me and said “Go…Speak…Tell…Disciple…”

      The pain inflicted by others and the pain invited by my own sinful heart will not be wasted. However, the pain does not define me…instead it has (and will continue to) refined me and what I’ve learned is spoken so beautifully through Jason Gray’s song “Nothing Is Wasted”: “In the hands of our Redeemer, NOTHING is wasted.”

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  2. This touches me right at my core. We are starting our home study this weekend in hopes to adopt a child. We never expected, after having our son, that we would be unable to conceive another child. It does tear you up, but I’m a believer also, and I know that this experience has prepared (and is continuing to prepare) me for what lies ahead. Thank you for sharing this!

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    • Many prayers for you as you start this part of the process!

      I’ve come to realize more and more that God uses the things that are happening today to prepare us for our tomorrows. May you feel Him near as you journey on.

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  3. Wow, such beautiful words as usual sister. He works mighty through you! I’m praying that as I continue to surrender the pride {perfectionism} that has always been prevalent in me… He replaces it with Jesus’ humbleness and turns His truth into ministry! Thank you for sharing… I’m always blessed when I come here. 🙂 ~ Blessings, Amy

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  4. Add faith and trust for me, Natasha. You have a wonderful way of putting my thoughts into your words. Redemption: God is and always has been in the business of redeeming; because of that I am able to stand straight and loudly proclaim: To Him be the Glory! Amen!

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