The hard days don’t come that often anymore, but they do come. Sweeping in and leaving me lost and trembling. The voice says, “It’s only because you’re lazy and don’t have enough money. If only you had ___________ then you would have what you desire.”
The words that fill the blank vary on the day but they all spell the same thing: F.A.I.L.U.R.E.
I’ve learned not to debate the lies anymore. It only leaves my ear tuned to the negative, only leaves my emotional state teetering on depression.
There is only one thing to do in the face of failure: cling to what is living and breathing and lasting.
My hurts are only bearable when they are buried in the Word.
On facebook last week, one of you mentioned memorizing Psalm 119. I opened there. The longest chapter in the Bible. Did you know that almost every single verse references the Word of God?
- Your word.
- Your law.
- Your statutes.
- Your promise.
- Your commands.
- His way.
- His precepts.
- His decrees.
It’s like one long song that points out the wonder of the voice of God.
“I run in the path of your commands, for you have set my heart free.” vs. 32
“My comfort in my suffering is this: your promise has preserved my life.” vs. 50
“You are my refuge and my shield; I have put my hope in your word.” vs. 114
In the reading, in the loud words flowing through the quiet house, the lies are silenced.
The calluses on my palm scrape across the whisper-thin pages, evidence that “lazy” isn’t the correct term.
The glitter of my diamond engagement ring, nested in beside the wedding band, reminds me of the man who gave them to me. The one who would sell anything and everything to take me to whatever doctor I wanted or needed.
And beside the diamond is the pearl. The one my parents gave me on my twenty-second birthday, days before I flew to Brazil for the first time. The gift with the note,
“You’re being made beautiful through the pain.”
Oh, that’s right.
He is. And His Word still shines light into dark places.
Join me in reading Psalm 119 today? Then come share your favorite verse?