things i love about my husband {7} friendships

28 days of intentionally honoring my spouse

“And after all that stress, do you know what Davey told me?”

“What’s that?” I call from the bedroom where I’m changing into pajamas and thinking about sitting by the warm fire and drinking tea.

“That the Bible says we’re being refined like gold.” He glances up as I come back into the room. “Do you  know how the refiner can tell if the gold has gone through enough fire?”

I stop and look at him, sitting on the couch, the Bible propped on his knees. The stress lines are evident on his face. I know his stomach has been bothering him for days, stress piled on stress, piled on stress– but when he looks at me, his eyes are clear and rich.

“The refiner knows when the gold is purified enough when he can look into it and see his reflection.” He pauses and his gaze meets mine again, “Davey and I were talking. We both have a few more fires to walk through before we will truly reflect Christ. And it’s good. It’s good for us. We’re being renewed day by day. Being transformed.”

Davey is the same age as my husband. He’s Amish. Has a wife and ten children. Their lives look quite a lot different than ours. But there are two things that have tied the men together. They are both mechanics and they both have a deep, deep love for God.

So they work together at the shop and they talk about their faith. Davey shares what he’s learned from hours of studying his German Bible. My husband shares what he’s learned from the time he spends in the Word. And together they encourage the other men who come through the shop– to love God, to know God, to embrace the redemption that God offers.

And as I sat there listening last night, my feet warming by the fire, I couldn’t help but think, I love this. I love that my husband cultivates friendships with men who encourage him forward in his walk with God. 

I love that when stress piles on stress, Davey and his wife show up outside our door in their horse and buggy. That they come in and drink coffee and eat ice cream. That we can discuss things and spur one another on toward love and good deeds.

I love that my husband keeps me immersed in the Body of Christ. And because of the deep, vulnerable relationships he has formed, we get to have church at our kitchen table on a regular basis.

The Challenge:

If it wasn’t for my husband, I probably would never have connected to the Amish family down the road. I wouldn’t have ever interacted enough to know what beautiful strong Believers they are. I would have missed out on part of the Body of Christ.

Are there relationships in your life that wouldn’t exist except for your husband’s encouragement? Have they challenged or blessed you?


p.s. I debated on writing today’s post because I know many women who long for their husbands to form more edifying relationships. If this is true for you, I don’t want this to be a discouragement– this month is about honoring him for the things he DOES do. So please, find something else to praise him for. 🙂


9 thoughts on “things i love about my husband {7} friendships

  1. A few years back, my husband wanted to attend a concert put on by three Christian family bands. We had met & become acquainted with one of the families previously, but were unfamiliar with the other two. The travel required to get to the concert venue was a huge sacrifice of time & money (two sacrifices that were difficult to make in that season of our lives), but our attendance at this event allowed us the opportunity to get to know these three families in an intimate way. As it would turn out, we were not only able to interact with these folks during & after their concert, but ended up staying & traveling with them for a few days. This ultimately resulted in us touring with these families off & on for the next year. It was an incredible experience as we interacted with these godly people, gleaning wisdom & building relationships. We also got to see the Lord working in churches & towns all across the country, often in places we never would have ended up on our own. I have been impacted by the example of these three wives as they follow their husbands around the country & the world, raising up their children to follow the Lord as they travel along. I likely would have never become friends with any of these folks had my husband not been the wild & adventurous, sometimes crazy (but fabulously fun!) man that he is.


  2. You do realize every post in this series is likely to cause another wife jealousy? Why the particular disclaimer on this one?

    My husband is a massive introvert, and its hard for him to initiate relationships. But he longs to, and I love the longing.


    • hmm… I’m not entirely sure how to respond, Cory. 🙂

      The reason for the added note on this post was simply that I personally know women who struggle with the friendships that their husbands choose to engage in and because I can only respond out of what I know, I added a note to those women who will probably read this post.

      I love what you pointed out about your husband. Sometimes it is not just about what someone does or is, but about what they strive for.


  3. Of the two of us, I’m the outgoing, meet-new-people-all-the-time one. But if it hadn’t been for my husband, I never would have met my husband’s family–his parents and his three brothers. His dad is one of the first people I’ve met who wasn’t raised in a Christian home and didn’t actually become a believer till he was in college (and now he’s a pastor!). My husband’s mom and I have a lot in common, but she has gone through so much and is still so patient, kind, generous, loving, and strong. Their faith has been a huge encouragement for me, and my husband’s brothers and I are great friends. I’m so thankful to be part of their family.


    • I love outgoing people, so we’d probably get along great if we ever met in person. 🙂

      I love that were able to make this challenge personal. (and your in-laws sound like fascinating people to know!)


  4. It sounds like Davey is in a rather unique Amish community. Many of the Amish are discouraged from seeking out the scriptures on their own. Interpretation is left to the Bishop. And there is no assurance of salvation as such would be considered prideful. And many Amish communities practice witchcraft. (Scary thought!) I suspect that your husband is as big a blessing to Davey as Davey is to him!


    • I know there are many like that, Beth, but I’ve actually never met any. 🙂 All the Amish that I’ve come in contact with have been loving, read-the-Bible and live-it-out Christians. Oh, some more than others (and Davey is definitely unique!) but that isn’t any different than Believers from any denomination. 🙂

      My husband and I were just talking again tonight about the many people who defame whatever name they carry… we live in a strong Mennonite/Amish community, and I cringe at the people who claim the title and live without integrity.

      I guess the best thing to do is to live with integrity myself, eh? 🙂


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