5 Things To Remember {when you can’t stop crying}

5 Things To Remember {when you can't stop crying} @natashametzler

I’m sitting there and we’re praying and tears bite into the flesh of my cheeks. They drip off the end of my chin and cause my nose to run. They are quite inconvenient actually. Mostly because I always forget to bring Kleenex with me.

Did you know that the salt is a healer? 

When we lived in Florida, my parent’s owned and operated a lawn care business. Down there in the sunny south, they have these things called fire ants. Horrible little creatures.

There has been, unfortunately, more than one occasion when I have done the “ants in my pants” dance and tore off whatever I’m wearing, right out in public. Trust me, y’all, no matter how modest you are it all disappears when there are ants up to your waist biting you.

Everyone has some type of reaction to fire ant bites but I really react. They swell and itch and take, literally, weeks to heal. Unless I go to the beach.

At the beach, I could wade in the salt water and oh, it would sting. The salt would get right into those wounds and hurt them all over again. But then they healed. Within 24 hours they would be smoothed right over.

There are some wounds in life that just won’t heal without tears. Well, to be honest, there are some wounds that just plain never heal, but tears can help make them bearable. They can dig out the infection and let you breathe again.

Here are five things to remember when you just can’t stop crying:

1. Don’t hide your tears. 

Those first few years, when I was struggling and fighting my way through infertility, I tried so hard to be tough. I didn’t realize that hiding my tears stole the healing power out of them. When I offered excuses like, “I have a headache” or “I don’t feel well” and left my friends to go crumble in the darkness of my bedroom, I was only prolonging the agony.

I’m not saying you need to burst into tears in huge group of people and pull all the attention on you, but when someone asks if you’re okay, don’t shrug your shoulders and then run off to hide. Be honest with them and yourself.

2. Share your tears. 

I don’t have to know your pain personally to share in your pain with you. Not too long ago, I spent quite some time sitting and crying with friends. We all carried different life experiences and I hope and pray that none of us will ever truly know what the other one was experiencing because ugh, that would be a lot of agony, but we can still share. 

God created us to walk through life together. That means we get to share our joy and our tears. 

3. Cry the right kind of tears. 

There are healing tears and there are draining tears.

You know, the ones that come and just won’t stop and you can barely function and you just. want. to. stop. crying.

Yeah. Those tears.

They were the ones that came when I pretended not to cry while I was with people. I would escape from friends and fellow Believers and try to keep busy to stop myself from dissolving into tears. Then I would be all alone and I wouldn’t be able to hold them at bay any longer and I would break down and cry until I couldn’t cry anymore. And it was lonely and fearful and I hated every minute of it.

Those aren’t the healing tears, friends. Those are just the hot scaly ones that leave your eyes red for days on end. And the difference between good tears and unproductive tears? That would be #4.

4. Embrace humility. 

I don’t think I can say this enough. Pride hinders healing. 

You will always struggle and always fight and always, always, always hurt if you cling to the pride of self-image and refuse to humble yourself and admit when you can’t handle life. 

I know. Because I did it.

Friends said things that wounded me deeply (though I would never admit it) or I would be sitting in church and literally could not breathe because I hurt so badly and I stoically refused to admit any struggle or any difficulty. I smiled and acted tough while I was dying inside.

When I did cry I would be embarrassed and try to scrub the tears away and laugh it off.

It ain’t worth it, friends. Trust me.

Tell your stupid pride to just shut up (sometimes you have to talk rough with that sin!) and be real. 

I’ve told my friends, “oh, that hurts!” and humbled myself enough to accept their apologizes and allow it to strengthen our relationship rather than slice it to pieces.

I’ve left church services in tears and been wrapped in hugs and prayers in the women’s bathroom. I’ve had some women (whose names I still don’t know! Our church is  fairly large.) who have prayed with me and for me and allowed their tears to mingle with mine.

I’ve felt the presence of God while I was crying the hardest– but only when I humbled myself enough to see Him.

5. Carry Kleenex. 

Seriously guys. Remember this.

 

 

 

Other 5 Things Posts:
5 Things to Remember {when the doctor says you’ll never be a mom}

p.s. don’t forget to sign up for my newsletter (it’s releases on the 15th!) and you’ll receive a free ecopy of Dying of Thirst at the Side of a Well.  Also, to those who have signed up and are wondering why they haven’t received anything yet, it’s coming! 🙂 

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8 thoughts on “5 Things To Remember {when you can’t stop crying}

  1. Oh Tasha … such truth! All of it. I remember the days when every pregnant woman was a personal affront. Not that they meant to be … it just felt like that! And then, when Josiah was 6, I had a miscarriage. 6 months later a friend asked us to stand with them as they dedicated their newborn. I stood, on stage at church, with tears pouring down my face. It was Mother’s Day and all I could feel was that I was supposed to be holding, and dedicating, my own baby that morning. It’s so hard! I’m so amazed by you as you share the pain … and the grace that redeems it! I didn’t learn the lesson that well through infertility.

    Love you!

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  2. Spent summers in Alabama and know the burn of those ants. Again…you’ve got me thinking. It’s been a process but I’ve known many tears. The ” I don’t think it’s fair” tears , the “give me a baby or I know I’ll die” tears, the “it is well” tears, the ” indescribable joy when it happened but you were prepared to be at peace anyhow” tears and finally the sweet laughter that comes with tears…no more. Love the transparency you bring to the table. I had a few trusted friends that I could be real with but could never have been so bold and write so publicly about something so close. He is using you lady and it is lovely to witness. Much respect Natasha.

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  3. I loved this post! There are so many times that life just feels so overwhelming, This post is something I will always remember when I cry. Sometimes, I would feel ashamed for my tears, but now I realize there is nothing to be ashamed of. Also, I loved how the last line made me laugh. 🙂

    Like

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