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A government official showed up at a farm, marched up to the farmer and told him that the farm needed to be inspected for a possible new highway.
“Okay,” the farmer told him, “but you can’t go in that field over there.”
The man ripped out an official badge, “See this?” he asked the farmer. “This means that I can go anywhere on your land that I so choose.”
“Okay,” said the farmer.
The man marched over to the forbidden field and the farmer shook his head.
A few minutes later the government man went running by being chased by a huge angry bull. “Help!!!!” he screamed.
The farmer looked up and hollered, “Show him your badge!!!”
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My dad says I got my love for farming when I was a baby bumping along on his back while he milked cows. Whatever the case, I’m a farm girl at heart and always dreamed of dairy farming. 🙂 Yay on another book, Natasha! Hope I get a chance to read it. 🙂 When i think of humor and cows, I think of Ada the Ayrshire book. 🙂
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A cow was struggling through the breach birth of her calf, and was finally nearing the end of the ordeal, when a city slicker happened to stop by the farm to ask for directions. As he approached the farmer to make his request, he noticed the cow laboring to deliver her calf, its head and forelegs still not having emerged.
After giving details about his destination and jotting down notes for where and when to make his turns, the city slicker asked the farmer if he might pose one more question.
“I appreciate your help, sir, but can I trouble you with one more quandary?”
“Sure,” the farmer replied, “Fire away.”
The city slicker turned to look at the cow and calf with a puzzled expression on his face and said, “Well, sir, how fast do you suppose that calf was going when he ran into that cow?” 🙂
It’s all about perspective… 🙂
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We have a milk cow and when she calved last year she (happily) blessed us with a bull calf! We promptly named him “Eddy” – short for “Eddy Bull”, which is long for ‘Edible’. 😉
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One of my favorite memories of growing up on a dairy farm was spending long days putting up hay. I often unloaded the wagons while Dad baled in the field, my brothers stacked in the hay mow, and Mom kept us hydrated and prepared food for our family of 8.
However, on occasion Mom would be available to unload. Oh joy! Then I would get to stack with my brothers! Although incredibly hot and dirty, I loved working alongside them and Dad. We’d often have fun with it, throwing bales at each other and kidding around. I sure do miss those days.
Mucking out stalls with my family is another favorite! Go figure, a farmer at heart. 🙂
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There is something about working together, isn’t there? I am thoroughly convinced it is a huge part of what makes well-adjusted adults. 🙂
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Also! your name was drawn for the first giveaway!! I’ll send out an email this morning! 🙂
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Yay! Excited to read it. Thanks!
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I’m not a farmer…unless organic gardening counts! BUT I live in a farming community and some of my favorite funny people are farmers. I respect the job and the culture and am so proud of you my Dear. If I win, it will be a gift for a dear sweet farming sister.
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We have a milk cow, and when she calved last year she (happily) blessed us with a bull calf! We promptly named him “Eddy” – short for “Eddy Bull”, which is long for ‘Edible’. 😉
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Ha! We had two pigs a couple years ago named “pork” and “chop”. 🙂
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When we first met our very dear friends we were clueless about farming one night our farmer friend said, “you’ll have to excuse me I have to go to the barn, I have a cow that is about to freshen. We were left wondering. Deoderant? A shower, a bubble bath, how does a cow freshen? Ha ha!
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Oh, how I love this!! 🙂
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We live right next to a dairy farm! Would love to read your book!
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I know this is odd, but there are several dairy farms close to our housing development and I actually love the smell that fills the air at times. Perhaps it’s because I love to garden and appreciate the benefits of manure but I seriously don’t find it offensive. And I love your blog so I’m sure I will enjoy your book! Of course that compliment may be rendered worthless after hearing about my romance with manure! 🙂
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Ha! I love it. There is actually an entire chapter in the book dedicated to manure. 😉
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You won a free ecopy of the book, Barbara! Make sure you check your email. 🙂
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Heard rustling in the kitchen one morning last weekend at 5 am. Came out to find my dairy farmer husband weighing out TMR minerals for our cows with my kitchen scale. You might be a farmers wife if… 🙂 I was born and raised on my family’s dairy and now my husband has joined and taken the title of dairy farmer this year. Blessed to have him work from home and to be called the dairy farmers wife. I was excited when I saw your book and look forward to reading it. 🙂
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Hilarious! 🙂
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You won a free pre-release copy of the book! Keep an eye on your email. 🙂
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Thank you so much! I was so excited when I saw the email. Can’t wait to read it!
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We’re actually hoping to get a couple dairy cows in the next couple of years. I can’t wait to read your book and see what I have to look forward to! 🙂
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While I grew up on a farm, my husband did not. One of the first times I brought him home to meet my family he walked out to the barn to talk to my Dad. He happened upon my Dad artificially inseminating one of the cows. As he is up to his shoulder, mid process my husband asks “Did you lose something?” My Dad just simply grinned and responded “Nope!”
One of my greatest and favorite stories of introducing my husband to farm life!
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I just love your stories. If you ever decide to sell your milking cow, please let us know 🙂
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I don’t live on a farm..so with that said I have no jokes or funny farmer stories to share. But I love reading your blog and I’ve always loved visiting the country way more than any city!
That’s why I’d love to have a copy of this book. Reading about farmers and their wives makes me…happy, and joyful. 🙂
And btw everyone who commented above the stories and jokes were great! You’ll have me laughing till the cows come home..
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I look forward to reading your book!
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Being a farmers wife I will say that there is some humor on the farm also some very serious things~~~~but to be able to work side by side with my husband is a very special gift.
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Tash,
I love the story about the cow. I can’t wait to read the book. You have such a tremendous gift for writing. 🙂
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My dad raised beef cattle, but his cousin up the road had a dairy farm. When my mom stopped breastfeeding us and it was time for us to drink milk out of a cup, my dad’s cousin let her get milk right out of the tank, before it had been processed. Our pediatrician was very impressed with our health when we would go to our check-ups. He told my mom to keep doing whatever it was she was doing. We were able to get fresh milk for years from our cousin. I loved being raised in farm country.
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Hi Tasha! I thought of you and your new book today at the bank when the lobby was especially pungent after several farm workers cashed their checks! I’m hoping to soon add another First Addition signed copy to my collection of books by Natasha Metzler. 🙂
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I’m so thankful for my childhood on a dairy farm! My family was (and still is) VERY careful not to go out in public in “barn clothes.”
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Hi, Kari! You won a free pre-release copy of the book! Watch your email. 🙂
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I am so excited!! Can’t wait to read it! Thank you Natasha!
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My children have been very active on the farm and help with chores daily. My son even took over milking for 3 days while I while I went to be with my oldest son in North Carolina. When I came home, My middle son said that when I died, he would shoot my cow and bury her with me. This son has worked the hardest in repairing fences and such around here. Now that he is quite a bit older, he appreciates that hard work of the past. HE finds most work easy compared to farming.
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The farm stories on your blog are fun to read!
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Love your perspective, and your writing!
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I remember when I was little I used to tell my parents that I was going to marry a farmer and have my very own farm…. that dream lost it’s appeal as I got older and I all I wanted was to travel and move to some new exciting place. When I was 16 I started dating a quiet and respectful boy who Im now married to. All I can do is laugh at how life works out….our first date consisted of him teaching me how to milk cows and showing me around his familys dairy farm. Now seven years later I happily married to the farmer of my childhood dreams 🙂
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When I worked at the state capitol, my boss’ wife always used to tell a story from when they were newlyweds. Her husband asked her to come sit on the front of the tractor as ballast! 😉
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Hey, When Ezra and I were out putting up fence today, we were admiring how pretty the beef cows look, even with snow on their backs, and I was standing there in Ezra’s work clothes and thick leather gloves and knit cap on… and I came up with a new one… You know you’re a farmer if your cows are definitely more high-maintenance than your wife. 😉 HA! (It’s only funny today because I’m in a good mood!)
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Ha ha ha!!!!!!!!!
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I’ve always been a farmgirl, but I married into a dairy family, a wonderful bunch of people! But I remember being jealous when my future husband said he had to go work with some hot babes in tight leather, which I found out later was just one of his affectionate terms for the cows. Needless to say, I got over my jealousy real quick. Great book Tash! I couldn’t put it down and was laughing within minutes of starting it. We think of you and Uncle Ice Cream often.
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You know you’re a dairy farmer’s wife when your husband jokes to his friends that he put you on the breeding wheel and shares you’re expecting by saying you’re going to freshen.
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Ha ha!! So wrong, but you know they mean it with the utmost affection. 🙂
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Aurora picked up your (farm) book yesterday and said, “She made this one smell like a barn! How did she DO that?” Giselle smelled it and said, “Whoa! I didn’t know they made scented books!” She passed it over to me, and sure enough, it smelled like the inside of dairy farmer’s old truck.
We laughed and said it was the “Special scented edition.” It had just returned from being loaned out to a friend of ours who’s a dairy farmer. HA!
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